So I attended the staging of a theatre play last week and I need to get some things off my chest. I need to vent actually. I’d like to start off with a passionate plea to institutions like the NTN and Theatre School to ban the sale of alcohol at these showings. This call is in direct reference to what I and many other lovers of theatre were subjected to last week.
People consume alcohol, loose their composure and get too excited during these plays. From endless bottles tipping over, to people having to leave during a production to the loo because we all know what Reinheitsgebot does to the bladder. Moving up and down during a production is not only a serious annoyance to the rest of the people but also a huge distraction to the actors on stage.
Some people have weak bladders but are too stubborn to understand that if they are going to consume a couple of beers before or during a production…they’d most likely have to leave for the loo. Let’s (NTN and Theatre School) not poke the bear. Let’s ban the sale of alcohol! To sit for one hour without a beer will not kill you.
Another thing that theatre houses really need to look at is age restriction. The play I attended last week, had a baby in attendance. Yeah…imagine, a baby. In a place that requires silence hearing constant cries and baby noises. I love kids…so much so that in the radio world, I’m Teacher NSK!
But do we really need to have babies in the audience?! Look, I don’t want to come across as a monster who wants everyone to be all stiff and boring during a showing but truth is…silence is one of the requirements to theatre.
It’s a not a cinema that has an incredible sound system which can drown out any unnecessary fidgeting. This is theatre where you are relying on real time voices. To which some voices may struggle with projection but ultimately
why would you want to make it hard an actor and the person next to you with constant chit-chatting?
Briefly enjoy a moment that got you excited from the actors and then shsssssssss! For you to understand the next punchline, you’d actually have to listen hey. One more thing that annoyed me during the showing of the play last week was the use of cell phones. To give these institutions the benefit of the doubt, there’s nothing they can do about this one, except for perhaps an educational drive to discourage people from being on their phones during the staging of a play. The play I attended last week had people running out in the middle of a production to answer phone calls and had their huge screens up replying to texts. Theatre only requires of you to share one hour of your precious time. One lousy hour. If someone is calling you during a production…reject the damn call and instruct them to text! Leave your phone in the handbag or in the car and enjoy some quality theatre! If you are not willing to leave your nxonono at home, if you are not willing to stop moving up & down and if you are certainly not willing to leave your damn phone…please stay at home or go somewhere else.
Until the next loop, we say “GMTM”!
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