Zoom In: Blesser-Blessee : make things happen

by Selma Neshiko

Zoom In: Blesser-Blessee : make things happen

I met him during one of my outing with my girlfriends. He liked me at first glance and I knew him because he is a well-known businessperson. Since then we went on some dates and he started showering me with lavish gifts, which I appreciate because this is not the first time I’m about to get involve with a rich man. Not that I look for them but I always keep my standard.

Says 25 years old Sophia (not real name), an unemployed young woman who regards herself as a “blessee” and prefers to remain anonymous.

Sophia says she is not a gold digger but she finds nothing wrong with dating or seeing someone who feels the need “to treat me”. Besides living in an expensive flat in Kleine Kuppe, paid by her boyfriend, she drives a Benz and only buy clothing from stores that sell brands. “The nicest gift I was blessed with was a trip out of Africa. Getting my own car and going to fancy hotels. I always get that sense of security.”

Blessers and Blessee have become a major social and cultural trending topic on social media. While some might not understand the phenomenon, the cultural term came about when girls took on social media posting pictures of themselves at fancy hotels, their expensive rides, and air tickets, pics of their trips to exotic locations, and their expensive clothes and drinks with the #Blessed whilst unemployed or not that well off. Which made some people questioned the who were blessing them with all the lavishness?



A blesser is defined as a typical old rich benefactor who spoil his fine young thing in exchange for sex, also defined as someone who funds one’s lifestyle or mostly  men with lots of money, who choose to spend it on women, usually young women AKA the new age sugar daddy. So the drift is that when you have a “blesser” then your life is blessed financially and when you are the receiver or the one being blessed then you are referred to as the Blessee.

The Blesser and Blessee trend went as far as identifying popular local socialites as Blessees. The trend was also revived after eNCA.com (South African television news broadcaster) made a documentary by breaking down the #Blesser phenomenon in a video. In the documentary one of the sugar babies cited that sex was a small price to pay for the life that she lives.

A 27 year old student and young entrepreneur, Janine (not real name) says she always post her lavish lifestyle on social media with the hashtag #blessed but did not post it in that context.

Janine says living the sophisticated and devilish lifestyle is not easy because society has a certain expectation of you because of [how] you shaped yourself. “There is nothing with being blessed either by your young boyfriend or old rich partner because I believe whether he date a rich or poor guy you’re going to sleep with them anyhow, so why not sleep with someone who appreciates you and shows it through the things he does for you? Then someone who just gets it for nothing.”

Josh (not real name), an Angolan businessperson, who has been living in Namibia for years, and known for posting pictures of his huge money flushing stints with girls, bottles and trips, says that he had spent over N$60 000 on one of the women he blessed.

Josh claims that the women he dated or go out with want to be spoiled and provides for anything they want but most of the times he gives them what they want and treat them because he believes its right for men to treat their women regardless of their status. “I don’t see anything wrong with giving money to girls one [is] dating or seeing. Spoiling them here and there shows that he appreciates them and taking care of them will make them admire and respect you more.”

Esmeralda Koopman says there is nothing satisfying about getting money for loving or being with someone. “I understand a little treat here and there but getting paid for sleeping with your partner or being with someone is prostitution.  We all know that when you [are] unemployed  or just a student, the hustle is real. So when I see people show off things they got or driving cars that they didn’t buy, I don’t feel threatened or inspired because it clearly shows the kind of person you are.”

“That is a way of selling yourself and not many realise that it’s expensive to live that kind of lifestyle. We all know some are from a poor background doing it to change their situation. You can’t blame them.”

Relationship expert Ngamane Karuaihe-Upi, who is also known as Uncle G refers  to the cultural phenomenon as ‘glorified prostitution”.

Karuaihe-Upi says this is not something new but an old game that sounds new and fancy. He also adds that sometimes married men seek out the lifestyle because they are missing something in their relationship. “Prostitution has been around for long. Women sell themselves and men are buyers. You ask whatever you want and in return a sexual transaction takes place. People use each other to satisfy each other’s sexual needs. Why work for a car when you can only have sex with someone and they get it for you.”

“Just because it happens I fancy hotels, you get all these luxuries does not make it any different. Some people don’t see it as something wrong because they benefit from it,” said Karuaihe-Upi

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