Panacea for January disease

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I KNOW most of you (including myself) can’t wait to get out of the office and open that cooler box with all the goodies for krismus and New Year.

There is a saying,  ‘Christmas only comes once’, so have yourself a nice makietie – enjoy it to the fullest, but please spend your money wisely so that you don’t go hungry in January, February and March. Ja, it’s not funny anymore that every year you make a resolution to “quit” drinking, while you are hanakam just broke.

I am no economist, but those in the know mean well and are not jealous of your “bonuses” when they say don’t spend on luxury and unwanted goods and services.

 This is what the financial gurus mean:

For the dronkies: 

If you have been drinking the 061 bottle for N$15 at your favourite mbashu all year through, don’t all of a sudden change to a new spot where a dumpie will cost you N$20 just to be seen among those with moola.

Or if you normally drink Overmeer, don’t all of a sudden advance to Moët assamblief. You will end up spending more on yourself and those high-class kamborotos who will quickly spit you out once your zak is empty.

For the socialites:

Don’t make new friends. Yeah, I said it. I know it’s the festive season and everybody is happy and jolly, but making new chommies, especially those well-known smart-talking ngupas who have all the ‘wonderful’ things to say about you, will run your pockets dry in no time. You will swipe that ATM card faster than an MTC mannetjie. They have plotted their December well and are looking for egotistic Mr/Ms Cash to spoil them.

For the dish-killers:

Don’t leave for the holiday before you fill your cupboards and fridge to the brim with enough food, sugar, cooking oil and drinks for the month of January.

You can’t act like a nomad and think tomorrow will fend for itself. You must plan ahead so that you don’t become an unwanted guest at everyone’s house come the New Year. Stop wondering why people hide away a hot pot with food, even under the bed, only to wait until you leave before they can eat.

For the fashionistas: 

We know you love clothes and all. Yes, now you have more moola to spin and can perhaps spend a little more to treat yourself and your family. Nothing wrong with that, but don’t all of a sudden go crazy with the shopping. If all along you have been shopping at Jet or at one of the other lower priced stores, don’t all of a sudden think Truworth or Otto Mühr is your cup of tea.

Just buy more for less at your regular store. Some of you are seriously notorious. How do you buy your babinos Nike tekkies worth over N$700 when they outgrow the size within six months, then the next day you can’t even afford a gwae (cigarette)?

For the parents:

Before you think of buying your nonas all the nice gifts and Christmas clothes, please pay your children’s school fees, uniform, stationery and everything else they will need before January. It is embarrassing to see children roaming the streets begging in January because mommy and daddy squandered all their moola in December.

For the debtors:

You are known for dodging furniture places and clothing stores during Christmas because you need that extra dough to feel good. Even worse, the poor landlord is left hanging in the air, wondering if you have absconded the country or if you are in jail. Stop those ninja manners and pay up so that you have a peaceful and free December holiday.

To the hard headed young kamborotos who didn’t make it to the next grade this year, leave out the older tates (men) and stick to your schoolbooks.

To the ncinas and bank cloning xomchas, please go easy on our money. We didn’t sweat all year for you.

To the “I am selling” Zim memes and Pakistani tates, gather your money now for the cockroach killers, shoe hangers, bedcovers, handbags, mirrors, carpets, paintings and blankets because come January, you will all be surprised together about how the money vanished.

With those few remarks, I bid you all a joyful Christmas and a blessed New Year.   Sorry Ngo!

BY Magreth Nunuhe

 

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