WHAT was no doubt supposed to have been a deeply held joy obviously morphed into a dumb squid, for sure.
Don’t be amazed at my Queen’s language, but I infamously do resort to craft a superior English whenever I am livid (meaning angry) – it has always been a welcome relief compared to my Namlish.
The only drawback is that opportunities to get mad are few and far between. Hence, I always crafted the perfect Namlish.
I know I should probably be ‘shocked, distressed, etc’ but I’m just embarrassed about the moegoes that kick the ball in our national colours. And to call themselves Brave Warriors should be considered a crime against Namibia. They cannot dare claim fame to the injustice that the real Brave Warriors suffered, gents point, comma and full stop.
And being a Namibian, I found their last week’s play most embarrassing. And it doesn’t help much what the clever geeks at Soccer House think, I have an indifferent view of them already.
If you gathered that my English is not as it is today, it is because of the two losses to Guinea (forgive my rudeness) but the country suggests anything but stronger.
What they did, eish, I swear if the other old man was around he would have waved the finger, ordered the army to impound them and whip them boys for disrespecting the integrity of the country and shaming the territorial integrity of the land of the brave
What was lacking, man, is the old flame, the fighting spirit, the tenacity, the mojo, the drive, the persistence and that without the money.
But what is done is done and that is a goner. How do you know me – of course, I don’t speak aloft without offering alternate advice. Shallow of me I know – it is my almost-I became-a-lawyer-gene working there.
It is obvious that we lacked the fighting spirit in the team. So I resorted to name my own first 11 to play as the New Brave warriors.
This group has the serious requirements and criteria at hand to fight and win.
Goalkeeper – Phil ya Nangolo, nothing slips the eyes (and ears) of this gentleman.
Right back – Elijah Ngurare, I know that he is a good defender, and once he starts with his slogan, “backward never, forward ever, hard work now”, then he means business. That is the spirit.
Central Defence – Kazenambo Kazenambo, the no-nonsense defender, the deputy minister – by the way he speaks in Parliament – he is ready to tackle anything.
Left back – Henk Mudge, a former rugby player, and from his exploits the other day with Kosmos Egumbo, he exhibits the spirit of a true warrior, watch this space.
Right wing – Kosmos Egumbo, reasons reserved.
Central midfield (right) – Paulinus Shilamba, with all the electrical power he has, he will be our deadball specialist, let’s just pray he has his power boots on. No load-shedding please.
Central midfielder (left) – John Ekongo, did you think I will pick a team without including myself, wake up T.I.A. “this is Africa”. What will be the point?
Midfielder-cum-striker – Bernadus Swartbooi, of late he has proved to be an effective middleman, efficiency in the centre of the park that matters the most.
Head striker – Max Hamata, as a great poacher of news and nose for a good story. I am sure that his journalistic instincts can help a whole lot better in this area to sniff out goals
Deputy striker – Lazarus Jacobs, a pure strategist, when he is offside the referee is likely not to call a foul. So in this regard we have a trump card.
Coach – No doubt that my old President should be at the touchline, Pres Nujoma imagines that if he stands at the touchline and shouts instructions, my friend you must not play.
For the reserves, I will rely heavily on the foreign contingent of Alfredo Hengari, who could not be excluded from the team given all his globe-trotting experience of all the elite leagues in Europe. Last I heard the man was in Dubai, that experience we dearly need.
And Joseph Diescho, his eloquence, charm, and intellect can be vital for the team. You see with Diescho I suggest we use him the same mould that Pires was being played at Arsenal. He analyses the match from outside, comes on the field the last five minutes and applies the tactics. A player like Diescho should never start a match.
And finally team mascot, Cde Nahas Angula, nothing sinister against the Premier, I could not find anyone more jovial and energetic than citizen Nahas Angula.
I definitely feel sorry for anyone who gets eyeballed by this team, which I have to admit, I think is the best-assembled team ever.
So Brave Warriors step aside and watch the maestros do their work.