I’m a Monthend ‘Millionaire’

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Petronella Sibeene

MONTHEND is here and it is evident all over. The centre of town is crowded, queues at different places of service are unimaginable and at offices, lunchtime starts as early as 09h00 and ends at 16h00.

Yah, I tend to understand why “black like me” does not seem to get anywhere in life because in as much as the Martin Mwingas and the like are pleading with Namibians to save, the message is barred from entering the cells of the brain.

This is how one of the few people described her behaviour on the 30th or 31st of every month.

“I spring to life the earliest way before my neighbour’s rooster’s cry – considering that I was restless the entire night in anticipation of payday.

“Will shatter breakfast at home, for a more lavish looking plate at Mugg & Bean. By mid-morning I swipe my Debit card buying something cynical like a roll of gum, some lip gloss and mint, just to prove a point to the person behind me in the queue that I really have money in my account.

“By the time I rush back to the office, I make sure that I get myself a bottle of Evian or Bonaqua sparkling water, again this time to make sure that the receptionist sees that I actually do earn a whole lot more than her or him (gender equality please).

“Immediately after that I do lunch, with a bunch of girlfriends all six of us, having a nice time. Some being more generous will offer to take the biggest cut in bill splitting. By three in the afternoon, I am seriously worried now, because last time I checked at the ATM, I was going downhill very fast and I still have 30 more days to the stop.

“Twenty-four hours later, I am back to my old self and Pupkewitz continues being the only millionaire month in, month out. I am now a former millionaire until end of the month again.”

Unfortunately, this is the reality of many people out there, especially my brothers and sisters north of Simon De Wet Bridge. And for those who thought of migrating to the former whites-only suburbs.

But again, my colleague John once commented that friends are few or rare at monthend. He says it becomes difficult to reach people on their cell phones and I did not quite understand what he meant.

His friends apparently avoid answering their phones because they fear it could be debt collectors looking for them, he says.

And then commented Tjatindi, “People adopt different personalities during monthend.”

The personalities that people have during the course of the month are apparently different if not fascinating from how they conduct themselves when their pockets are presumably swollen.

He actually linked some of the characters to those of some familiar animals we have around.

There are some people who apparently when you look at their behaviour at the end of the month, you are tempted to conclude they were donkeys in their previous lives (if there is such a thing). These are the stubborn ones. For those that are owed struggle to get what is due unto them. The “donkey” simply does not pay bills.

And then you find the hare. They are evasive and have all the excuses in the world. They are addicted to the word “tomorrow” and unfortunately, it never comes.

The lion simply charges at the slightest approach. Tjatindi says this character explodes and simply leaves the creditor more stressed, at the slightest reminder of the debt.

Another animal character that also comes to mind is the pelican that prides in being an expert on “Animal Behaviour and Its Impact on the Personality Trends of the Adult Homo Sapiens”, says Tjatindi. What is unique about the pelican, narrated Tjatindi, is that it simply flies away when the going gets tough. In the case of outstanding debts, the specific person simply switches jobs; moves to another town – or just lies low for some time.
Eewa!

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