Sorry Ngo! – Kentucky Fried Civil Service

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John Ekongo

IT was a struggle to find the best way to describe our public service, honestly. It had always been at the back of my mind. Had I done so earlier, it would have meant that I too fit in the category, being a former civil servant and all.

Plump, greasy, hefty non-filling but overly expensive, that is what anybody can tell me about the branded chicken. To top it all, KFC is easily accessible, has no class society, in short it is for everyone – just like the government belongs to the people.

Hold your horses, for the time being, before you burst out laughing this is no laughing matter. The question is can we say that the Namibian public service is like a Kentucky Fried Chicken Take Away.

I know you are dying to know my reasons are for this analogy – below I list a few that sprang to mind.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken (the bird) is hastily produced to become plump in the fastest record time. Meaning that the rooster gets to end up at its final destination (the pressure cooker) a whole lot earlier than knock off time.

So too are some (note I say some) of our colleagues in the public service, they just get to work to knock off at the fastest record time, just like the KFC they too knock off at any time before 17h00.

Have you been to KFC during month end? Again this goes without saying that you really don’t want to end up in Kentucky when an army of Government workers invade the takeaway joint. It becomes like the Home Affairs queues.

So I came to notice but then again do you blame the Home Affairs if the fast-food chain’s chimney is just metres away from their office windows?

Some would say that the prices of some items on the menu at the fast-food joint are for guys on the high-end market, and unnecessarily expensive.

Perhaps one can best equate this to the extremely high-end salaries of some of the (again I say some) ministerial workers, for absolutely no tangible result in terms of work output.

Again if you gave a good look at the KFC menu, you find that there are items like: “original recipe”, “extra crispy” and “variety bucket” all pretty much the same thing if you ask me.

Now I can think of some ministries which seem to be doing the same thing as other ministries, well then again both do serve a purpose, right, chicken business equals government business.

There are some items on the menu that one does not really care much about – it makes you wonder whether some ministries really work at all.
For example, I know of only: “Streetwise two”, I have not actually seen the double crunch burger with extra cheese and pineapple ring performing any better on sales at the fast-food outlet, the same applies too for Streetwise three.

What I am saying is, Streetwise two is like the most popular civil service or ministry for that matter. While the double crunch burger let’s rather say is like the Ministry of …” Please don’t get me in trouble, you make up your own ministries that are not performing and fill in the blank space.

Almost forgot. The chicken variety bucket reminds me of the Ministry of Mines and Energy. The price of the bucket has been rising consistently over the last few months, just like fuel. But if you have a bigger tummy (kapunda) you can afford both the variety bucket and petrol for your needs. Of course, this can only happens to the empowered comrades.

So what is the moral of this? Well, to be honest I don’t know, but I was just amazed at the number of civil servants who were queuing at this chicken place, pay day at 10h00. What the hell were they doing that is making government look like a chicken businessman!

Unfortunately, I do love my Kentucky Fried Chicken, but does that mean I love my civil service? Well, yes, what do you expect from a former civil servant?
Sorry Ngo.

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