Sorry Ngo! – Which Side Are You?

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John Ekongo

SEEING that soccer madness and season have come to an end, throughout the year I was able to tell who is likely to support which team and from what town he or she hails from in Namibia.

Therefore, I would like to share some of those findings with you. Of course, be warned that these findings are from my consultancy firm by the name of DUMB-Solutions, acronym for Difficult Unsolved Matters Brilliant – Solutions. And as the name suggests, we do exactly that – to provide brilliant solutions to otherwise dumb ideas.

Now if you are a Manchester United fan, chances are that you hail from Oshakati. This love for the team in red can be taken from the fact that perhaps Oshakati City also wears red. Most likely you like wearing “Otjikapute” and think that a shiny Golf Gti version 4, should be the new Mercedes Benz.

Arsenal, not to lie but almost all of my friends who are Arsenal supporters have never kicked a soccer ball. I take it that Arsene Wenger has never kicked one too. Very few play soccer, but temperament wise these guys are crybabies, with the exception of Kuvee, of course.

Chelsea, in all my life, and as far as I remember the Blues has always been a team of colleagues who wanted to be inducted in the “hall of fame” – the Marcel Desaillys, Viallis, Zolas, Weahs and whoever else. So I found it hard to ascertain how a 20-odd-year-old gets to support Chelsea. I think it was the Mourinho effect. Like we always say, you never walk alone, we will gladly welcome you back home.

Which brings me to Liverpool. Now I am allowed to be wayward here, but of course five champions league trophies, numerous league championship (I said league championship, when it was still English) not premier league. We have proven somehow that we are still English. Almost everyone from Khomasdal loves the Reds. Well as for me a fisherman from Narraville introduced me to the team. In case you don’t know Narraville, it is our Khomasdal back home in Walvis Bay.

Tottenham Hotspurs. All I know is that Jurgen Klinsmann had a shiny career there, but he is a coach now, and history always takes a while before it repeats itself.

Juventus, anyone who supported Italian football at one stage was definitely a fashion statement. It reminds me of the era of those black and white Paolo Falcone sandals. A good team but full of models, who don’t belong on a pitch. If you dispute, remember when Thierry Henry was offloaded by Juventus? He was more into modelling on the pitch than scoring. This all changed when the English hooligans taught him a lesson.

AC Milan, this is during the time of the total football playing style of the Dutch. Marco van Basten, and Ruud Gullit are, to an extent, the only good thing that has happened at AC Milan. Who is likely to support this, all Black Africa supporters? I had always wondered why this side from Gemeente loved the colour black and red.

Real Madrid, again another team that was mistaken for being a football team. My honest opinion is that we have to thank the Chinese small shop owners for selling those fake Real Madrid shirts, the very same shirts with “BEKA” as a print screen. If not, then we would have no apparent fan base.

Barcelona, all the supporters of the Catalan giants have to thank Frankie Fredericks. If it were not for this sprinter we would not have even known where Barcelona was. We only heard of it for the first time in 1992 during the Olympics. So again why the guys support the team is beyond me, if Barcelona reminds me of Frankie losing to Carl Lewis.

Borrusia Dortmund, Mattias Sammer was the only motivational factor in this team, but with it, I know for a fact that all my Swakopmund friends who matriculated at Herman Gmeinner Technical School would do anything for a glass of beer and German football with Dortmund at play.

Which brings me to the conclusion that if you spent less time watching European football, then you guys (the Brave Warriors) would have definitely made it past the first round. Again like I said, not all of us can make it into the national team, but only the best. But from what I saw last week, I say give hopeless guys like us a chance to make it into the national team.
Anyhow Sorry Ngo, gents, definitely Sorry Ngo.

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