EVER had a friend who knows it all, or at least thinks he does? I am sure we all have that one friend that would willingly participate in any topic on the table – from women to astronomy, and from sports to politics.
Well, I have no problem having a guy like that for a friend. I mean, with a brotha that smart, you can go about anywhere and fit in at almost every intellectual conversation there is on earth. That is at least what I thought, until recently. Allow me to explain …
I hooked up with this brotha friend of mine over the last May Day celebration in Walvis Bay. Seeing that he is from the big city (Windhoek), the brotha tried very hard to impress some of my fellow female journos at the event.
Personally, I think he did well overall, before remarking that he prefers Cosmopolitan magazine to the South African True Love mag. At that moment, all my female colleagues exchanged glances, before looking away in embarrassment. I wanted to tell the brotha that even if these smart female journos find time from their busy schedule for a magazine – I bet they don’t care what they read! I must have been too slow, as the brotha, probably pleased with his first Mr Know-it-all stunt, and dropped another one. “I think Tyra is trying to copy Oprah, but to me, Dr Phil has always been the best,” he said.
You could have heard a pin drop, as the female colleagues again stared at one another before switching their attention to his Excellency who was addressing the workers on the day. I pulled the brotha to one side at the earliest possible chance, without letting his guard down and told him that this group of learned females does not give a damn about Tyra Banks or Oprah, and that he should stop trying to fit in and just listen to his Excellency! He must have understood what I was telling him, as he remained quiet throughout the entire speech of the President. I felt a sense of accomplishment. It felt good!
That, like all good things though didn’t last long. I guess the brotha figured that if he switches to politics or history, it would earn him more points with the fairer sex. He murmured something along the lines of how Australian Aborigines and the Jews have had it tough … Dude! Why not stick to something closer home? We all know that tale, but we have Ovaherero right here at home that suffered the same fate as the Jews. As for the Aboriginals – ever heard of the San communities? Ekse, Deputy Premier Libertina Amathila will definitely not be impressed, Broer!
Next time you see a Mr Know-it-all, tell him to rather stick to one topic or two that he knows very well. I mean, what’s next – Obama is a Republican contender? Or even better – earth is not really a planet but just another body in the troposphere? Stick to what you know best, Broer. Leave the cold war and stop trying to sell ice to an Eskimo – clearly, you have failed.