I figured I would do an opinion piece with a great induna, who is always glued to the wireless. Besides, please forgive the titling, blame in on the induna he insisted I name it accordingly, so in this manner I indemnify myself.
Anyway, forgive me for being serious. On the lighter note, however, I looked at the current presidential hopefuls and consulted my inyanga (a traditional psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor and commentator), from the Impalila Island just to tell me what exactly we can expect from them should they be elected into power.
So I ask politely, “Great one Mkulu what do you make of ex-comrade HH from RDP? – and no silly RDP does not stand for Rural Development Programme. “What do you think would be his strongpoint?”
Mkulu’s answer was, “He will develop another paper on economic development and calls it the pink paper of economic diplomacy with Red China, on unemployment; he might recruit technocrats and civil servants to work in farms and at Berg Aukas for efficient rural development. My warning if I were a civil servant I would resign immediately from public service.”
Then we proceeded to Cash on Delivery, “Mkulu what do you make of the official opposition now and Mr Ben Ulenga?”
Again Mkulu had a ready answer, “As the name suggest, son Cash on Delivery and knowing the financial position, they are likely to cut funding to all political parties drawing from their own experiences. Endorse a no-contest vote once decision has been made.
Not to fear though, they are good in financial prudence and discipline.” How come so? I quizzed. “My son the CoD have managed to be in Parliament on nothing but State subsidy, no campaigns, no unnecessary expenses, you see a good spender or stingy whichever way you look at it.”
“Next question, Great one, the DTA” .
“Ah Kaura my kind of leader you see, KK so fondly reminds me of the great KK our neighbour, the people’s person.
Did you listen when he said that he would settle all landless Namibians with one or less chickens on farms? Expect the following with KK – pensioners not be paid monthly stipend but instead a bull and a heifer monthly in no time we have pensioners who are full-scale commercial farmers.
Meatco will definitely have board of directors made up of senior citizens. Educationwise, Agriculture and Principles of Karl Max will become compulsory subjects,” he said.
“Very interesting indeed my great chief, but what do you make from NUDO and the most popular leader in my opinion Omuunene Riruako?
“Chief will decommercialise all these fishing factories, what benefits do they have to the economy? Besides he does not like fish that much. But he stands a good chance and especially if he gets the German money. You de-rooted Oshiwambo’s from the Coast who speak fluent OthiHerero, might qualify.
“So that is his trump card.”
“What about the other chief, Justus Garoeb?”
“I tell you with Chief Justus, Uis will develop into a killing giant economically.
Small-scale farming might be the order of the day, but other than that we might be faced with an upward rebellion if he neglects Khorixas, so I am waiting to see.”
“Alright, Kosie Pretorius or Jury Viljoen, you see I have heard that that party believed in miracles and the ‘Bybel’ is their constitution, now I am not a Christian and you see during the years of the Boers we were disadvantaged – they did not teach us from the Caprivi ‘arfikaans’.”