Sorry Ngo ! – A Case of Mistaken Identity

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John Ekongo

In media class, I was always warned and cautioned by one very hoarse-voiced lecturer by the name of Fred Mwilima. Sir Mwilima, as we would call him, would always say: ” In media, one must be cautious not to make mistakes and be accurate. Had you made a mistake, it is your rightful obligation to say sorry and correct the mistake speedily and without any delay.”

I must admit here that at this point I am standing in that predicament, where my apologies might be needed. However (I love this word) – that will be addressed a short while later.

To kick-start, I came to find out over the course of the week that I have a fake qualification, have not seen the benches of a school, and have shunned my parents disgracefully. All this happened when I opted to go to London where I picked a fight with a few guys at one very good party somewhere in London and was deported without delay.

Furthermore, it is said, I have been trying without success to gain citizenship to the Land of the Queen. This all occurred when the British ladies I was involved with flatly rejected my propositions to marriage.

As such I am back in Namibia, languishing in misery, unfulfilled dreams and jealousy in the Land of the Brave.

Well, I am exhaled and saddened to observe that many well-meant satirical, albeit gibberish, comments have caused distraught and pain to some.

Exhaled that never in my wildest of few dreams (few because of overweighed stress levels) had I expected Namibians living in the United Kingdom to love to read my column! On the other hand, saddened that I have caused pain and distraught to one certain Aune, a Namibian living in the UK.

To proceed, the misinterpretation which might have resulted from last week’s column entitled ‘Indeed Queen versus Country’, is regrettable and as such I convey my apologies for the inconvenience. You see, just like I was taught in media school, that where you erred you must correct, it’s all in line with media ethics. Did I hear someone say we have no ethics? I think we have.

The crux does remain however that Sorry Ngo is a satirical column and not a letter as Aune deduced. It does not imply that I will poke fun and not get reprimanded for it; on the contrary, I thought it was long overdue. It was about time that I got tongue-lashed for my imperious writing I so often get away with. This country being all for free speech and fairness, a notion I fully agree with.

Well now, with all that needs to be cleared out of the way, I was only left to wonder that my avid reader in the UK knows me well from top to bottom, toes included.

Whereas I am Namibian, I have spent quite a number of years in London, according to my reader. Now that is the most regrettable part which I must challenge.

Again, like Sir Mwilima would say: “Accuracy, factual accuracy is the key ingredient to good journalism.” On that note, I must indicate that that all too important vital part was missing.

Nor have I set foot in the United Kingdom, apart from this one time I visited the High Commission here in Windhoek. That’s the only stake I can claim to being in British territory.

But I sure do accept that the directions were meant for some other guy who must have picked a fight and shunned us here back home. May he be forgiven.

On a conclusive note, Sorry Ngo wishes to apologize for being so Sorry Ngo, and as such, in the spirit of pure Namibian hospitality, all returnees from the UK, you are cordially invited to a welcoming bash to be held in Katutura, where you will feast on a smorgasbord of Namibian delicacies which we sure you all have missed.

Don’t be worried, the likes of Windhoek Lager, mampoer, smiley and goatheads, matangaras, vetkoek and gemmer bier will be supplied aplenty as well.

Please inform us well in advance about your return, in order for us to duly prepare for the bash. In this light, Sorry Ngo eagerly waits your return with warm Namibian hospitality.

What else can you expect apart from a nice Sorry Ngo?

Sorry Ngo

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