Characteristics of a Nation

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John Ekongo Characters are associated with each and every tribe in our beautiful country. Colleagues bear with me, as there is no racial slur or derogatory branding intended. Please do not sue me, as I do not have Legal Shield yet because my application was turned down. I felt there is a necessity to come up with this guide after a recent visit by some European friends of mine to Namibia where discriminately greeting every black man I introduced to them “Ongiini”. Not to create that embarrassment anymore, this guide will go a long way in solving the misinterpretation for my brothers worldwide. We start with the Oshiwambo: They are the largest ethnic group. Colour complexion ranges from anything from pitch black to coffee creamed. Apparently arrogant and steadfast. They can wear a snow jacket in 36 degrees and highly adaptive. Have difficult in distinguishing “r” and “l”. This tip could be useful when you take a taxi and when directing the driver to turn left say “reft” and when you are to turn right say “light”. OtjiHerero they are large in size. Their complexion ranges from pitch black to a mascara-toned lightness, apparently as a result of cross-breeding with Germans many years ago. Very proud and they completely adore meat, and if you are a vegetarian, stay away from them. Ovahimba are nomadic and they have elegant features, more like our own Masai warriors. Untouched by civilization. Rukavango, they are average sizes, commonly referred to as the man from the river. And are excellent swimmers. Highly reliable, honest and trustworthy, as can be deduced from their servitude positions as guards and law enforcement officers. Caprivians, known as Caprivians, but some camps says the name is untrue. Debate is still ongoing in parliament for suitable name. Otherwise, extremely eloquent, well spoken – the Queen of England’s English. Also from the river, and cunning politicians in their own right, due to their vocal literature. They hail from the north-east. Damara, colour complexion variant of mix, from pitch black to light, in fact colours know no boundaries. Astonishingly fast, a special vernacular characterized with tongue clicks. Best soccer players the country over. Have got a tendency to elongate vowels, instead of saying “wyn” will say byn or “bottle” will say bokkle Namas, a pale suntanned complexion. Highly enduring race, very small in size. Excellent marathon runners, due to their ability of extreme endurance. Simply love to breed goats, a very culturally oriented people. Originally from the southern parts. Excellent fashion designers, usually design anything with rainbow colours be it pants, underpants or a suit with veldskoenne. Tswanas, extremely short in size especially the man, creamy chocolate toned skin, very skilful hunters. Excellent dancers, inept loud speakers. Very proud as well. Basters, (Rehoboth Basters), cross-breeding between Germans, Namas. Very good builders, an inheritance passed on by the German forefathers. Swear a lot with anything that has vulgar connotation. Cape Coloured, not to be confused with Basters, difference smooth hair. Smokes, drink, swears freely and they are originally from the Cape, we still have to determine how they got here. The Afrikaners, easily recognizeable, white of European extraction, older generation prefers veldskoenne and safari socks with a comb inserted in right leg, confused younger ones love spiky hair and listen to rock music. Love farming. Word has it they can smell the rain thousand miles away, enjoy complicated things such as rugby, cricket, shooting, Vasbyt and his bakkie. Germans (Deutsch), difficult race, blue eyed. You can recognize from tone of speech. Struggle with the “Ze English Language” “what” becomes vhaat. Beer, Jagermeister and kabonossi as staple food. Drives cars originally from their motherland, BMW, Volkswagen, and Mercedes Benz. Like their ancestors believe in efficiency and time, will fire you if you got late to work even though its no fault of yours that Petrus’ taxi had to drop off someone at Otjomuise first. Lastly, Mbwiiti’s, confused Oshiwambo, hardly speaks their mother tongue. Do not eat with their hands, indoctrinated in believing Afrikaans is their mother tongue, concentrated mostly in urban areas. LÃÆ’Æ‘Æ‘ÃÆ”šÃ‚¼deritz, Grootfontein, Walvis Bay, Swakopmund and you can easily recognize them, because I am their official spokesperson. Sorry Ngo

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