Brandy and Guava Juice, Please!

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Neville Basson Okay, I hope all you people from Katutura can finally afford to have a ”tserura phone” now since Telecom Namibia came out with Switch during this week. No more missed calls on my cellphone please: ” Etse Nebel , bel tog terug!” We thank Telecom for their fast guerilla marketing tactics to give the consumer something special for Krismis! Well, we were greeted with the disturbing news a couple of weeks ago that Coca-Cola might not be able to put the fizz in coke this Christmas. Now you see, that is really very disturbing knowing how many gatvol clients they might have to deal with … especially on Friday nights! I am trying to think of any alternative products but people in Katutura would consider this an insult if you offer them anything else with their brandy. Bra Zyks: ” Etse Nebel, hoekom maak die boere so? We can’t drink our ‘dop’ with anything else but coke! Please go and speak to them so that they can find a solution for this problem! Little did Bra Zyks know that die boere residents are even more angry than anybody else. Gysie: ”Nee F(*K Neville, wat te erg is is te erg! Hoe de donner must I now drink my blerrie Klippies’ huh? Met water ? You blerrie blacks arrre always saying you run everrryy section of this blerrie country ….s o could you please speak to the Wambo authorities to make surrre that we get blerrie coke in ourrr Brandy, hoor jy?” That is always something that I hate whenever a white man speaks to me …..why must they always say “hoor?” after every sentence huh? Does he think I’m deaf or just merely stupid? But to leave that there, we are sitting with a crisis worse than George Bush in Iraq because consumers just might go Alqueda on Coca-Cola now. We have to rectify this situation a.s.a.p ! I went to quite a few shebeens in Katutura during the course of this week to consult some of the top barmen to hear if there might be any alternative for coke since there is a possibility that it just might not be available over the festive season. Since I am not a drinker you guys can’t hold me accountable if the ”chaser” does not seem to be working out the way you want it okay? Punya-Punya (Tassenberg) with Fanta Grape: I sampled this one personally, does not taste that bad ! You will be thinking you are at a children’s party by the time you had your third glass so you should be well on your way to ‘tiep’! Brandy & Water: I suggest you do a few test runs on this one because by January you will be too broke anyway to be able to afford brandy & coke . Just ”changa” the brandy at the shebeen okay ? Whisky & Guava juice : Please use this one just to ”spite” the Rehoboth Basters! I know a lot of them ”chase” rooiwyn with guava juice. I don’t wanna know how that tastes, but just do it anyway….once Johnny starts swearing at you, you will be too drunk anyway ! Please follow above recommendations incase Coca-Cola does not come up with a solution. Mbye mbye!