Tough Ride without Coke


John Ekongo Cometh the month of December, we might have a serious problem on our hands. Unfortunately many of the devoted party-goers, might end up having a lot less fun with no gas. It is not confirmed yet, but if Coke loses its zest, then we are as good as a stale bottle of Windhoek, Castle, Tafel or any lager for that matter. Sometime this past week, Coca-Cola announced that there might be no carbon dioxide to fill up the fizzy dude. I was never good at natural sciences, but I just need to know exactly how does one run out of carbon dioxide. I thought carbon dioxide is what you breathe out to breath in oxygen …huh? But it seems that I was proven wrong. All I know is that it is some chemical that abounds in the earth’s atmosphere. Now I would expect that with all the uneven temperatures, global warming, green house effects, depolarization of the North and South Pole, CFC and all the impacts of this and that Greenpeace keeps telling us about, there should be plenty of stuff somewhere, at least that what they keep saying is all because of carbon dioxide, and now suddenly it has run out. Anyhow, if this shortage of carbon dioxide is to be drawn out, I personally know of a list of people that will suffer greatly. Be it economic or social, but most definitely socially we are in for a tough ride. First on the list, all the brothers and comrades who thought the idea of Tassenberg chased with Coke was the new ticket to shady BEE deals, should reconsider changing drinks, to something like Cabernet Sauvignon or you can always use Four Cousins, you know. Not only is this classy but it creates the illusion that you have arrived in style, you know. Cognac and Remy Martin can be a bit expensive, especially when you just starting out. Besides all what Tassies does is give you a “Kapunda”, gout feet and permanent membership to the Single Quarters for grilled pieces of steak. If you thought Biltong, Klippies and Coke were classified as leisurely activities at some farm in the Gobabis area, some awkwardly named rugby stadium, or your local Voortrekker Kommando venue, whilst listening attentively to some Tri-nations score lines, chances that you are affected as well is definite. So change of drinks, perhaps Witblitz and Mampoer. Thirdly, all of them rich folks’ kids, whom after a jolly ride with daddy’s SUV and mommy’s station wagon, get to take the famous Frenchman Richelieu, or any other brandy home. My advice – put it down; after all you’re not supposed to drink anyway. On top of that, Coke has no gas so there is exactly no point in drinking anyway – this goes to them students as well. Almost forgot, I am sure the devoted “KFC Streetwise two” consumers will also feel the plunge, it just does not taste the same at all without Coke, now does it? On the serious note, it is just not nice without the Coke especially with December coming. So let’s do whatever we can do to get more Coke, maybe burn down a few forests, cut down some trees, plant and chew garlic, so we get more carbon dioxide to have more of the fizzy dude. If not I know of a friend who discovered the new taste of Sherry recently, and it appears as if she has a good time, members are welcome anytime. As regards me, I pray that Nam-brew do not send me an email announcing the shortage of barley, hops and water – I will personally take them to court. Eewa