The Good Doctors

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Neville Basson Hooooo! I laughed myself stupid about two days ago when I read the story about Hidipo “R. Kelly” Hamutenya against Axali “Baby Face” Doeseb! I am telling you I never had such a good laugh in a long time! They are now “kammastag” both claiming that one of them is mos now the original “unleaded 95 fuel” when it comes to the National Anthem! You see, I can’t take sides here but all I can say is that as smooth as those lyrics are … only a Damara could have written that song! Askies tog HH, but chances are that if the song was written by an Oshiwambo producer the anthem would have been at least 30 minutes long! Taattteeeeeeeee Kaluuuuuuungaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! We can get into that debate maybe next week, okay? But let’s discuss some more serious matters here! I was listening to the Chat Show somewhere during the week, and one guy called in complaining vigorously about traditional healers. This guy asked comrade Mwala how these people are actually entering our country: “Mwala, we are taaaaiad (tired) man! These people are coming from everywhere from these neighbouring countries, coming here lying to us about how they can heal us! They even come here and “cleanse” trial-awaiting criminals who committed horrible acts of crime in our society man, why?” Now you see, as I sit here I know as much as there is a God there is also witchcraft. There is no way that the one exists without the other one. Witchcraft forms part of one of the devil’s cuca shops. So when “bekeer” people tell you that there is no such thing as witchcraft, well my personal opinion is that, if there’s no witchcraft then why is there a God? God is ruling this earth and now and again he has to kick the devil in the “canolies” just to remind that fool that he means business! So please, as much as both exist in my mind you can only serve one! What these guys come here to do in Namibia still baffles my mind. Do these guys wanna tell me that their muti is stronger than Namibian muti? If you look at the names of these “doctors” you just know there is no way that they can be Namibian! Just check it out …never mind the job description! Mr Chimele: Okay, this guy solves marital problems, court cases, bad luck and … uhm private parts! Where was this guy when Nelson Mandela had marital problems, huh? Or did Winnie go to a stronger one? Mrs Kimbunga: Love potions, bad luck, witchcraft (huh?), win gambling. Okay, maybe I need to go see her because this Winna Mariba smss are making me broke! Mr Chituyu: He helps with misunderstandings at home, bad luck, love affairs, etc. I am not so sure but this sounds like this guy wants to give me a kamborroto, maybe I need to go see him … just once okay! Mr Silli: Helps with lost lovers, penis enlargements and financial problems. If he can help then I don’t know how so many people still have ATM cards lying at cash loans! Lost lovers? How can you be so stupid in the first place to lose a lover? Where were you when she packed her bags, at a cuca shop? People please, it’s really up to you but I suggest you go to the big doctor when you wanna solve most of these issues … he does not ask you N$50 consultation fees per visit. You can only see him when you believe … not vice versa, okay? Rather take your money and buy food for your children than give it to people who bring bad karma over your soul. Mbye mbye!