Swakkies or Warrr-Fish?

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Motjavi Neville Basson Okay, let Ousie Sandra Naris just come out with the truth please! What the hell was she feeding that embryo to create a baby of that size huh? I saw this in one of our local daily newspapers that Ousie Sandra delivered a baby of not less than 6,58 kg … yes, kiloooograaaams! At least she confirmed with us that this child just might become a Special Field Force commander one day, now that will help! Ousie, veels geluk met die babatjie! May God bless you and your family and may your super baby become a strong, productive citizen of this country one day! Talking about this baby, I was quite surprised to learn that she is from Swakopmund … the town that is having a little secessionist issue concerning a place called Langstrand! You know, for years I assumed that Langstrand (or Longbeach for the comrades who don’t like Afrikaans) was part of Swakkies … just for Walvis Bay to come and declare now that the place kamma-kastag belongs to them! I am not too sure what belongs to who now! I spoke to some people from Walvis yesterday and a lot of them say: “Kyk Neville, we don’t care what Swakkies are gonna do about this, but it’s time that they give Langstrand back to us! You see, it was bad enough that P.W. Botha did not wanna give us back to Namibia for so many years, that Sam Nujoma had to come and smack the bottle of Mellow Wood out of the hands of ‘Die Groot Krokodil’! Nee, nee! They must just back off please!” You see, somehow I have to agree with the Walvis-baaiers because … if you are at Langstrand, it’s quicker to drive to Walvis for the nearest shebeen than to go to Swakkies! So asseblief tog, let those Germans behave themselves. I spoke to one of my German friends just to hear what their take is on the whole issue. “Aggh Neville, vie are not interested in Langstrand, zat place is for die schlap-ore’ (derogatory German term for Afrikaners)! Sooo zey can keep it, vie don’t care! And for zat matter, zey can keep Vlotska-baken (Boere – Bahamas) also! Zere ist nothing more zen Swakopmund zat vie vant!” Now you see, I just hope that all Walvis-baaiers are satisfied with the Jagermeister perspective on Langstrand. I am just asking all white people to reconsider their stand who stay at Langstrand. I think it’s best that they have a local election at Langstrand on where they really would like to belong. If you choose to be part of Walvis Bay, Kuisebmund will then have to become part of you … geen verskonings nie okay? If you choose to side with Swakkies then you just have to be content with quad biking for the rest of your days! The Special Field Force could see that no shebeens will be put up in Langstrand if you decide to be with the people (Warrr-fish), but if you decide to go with Jagermeister, Grunerkrans just might install another 20000-watt speakers to hit you from mid-town Swakopmund! You choose, mbye mbye.