Medium To Well Done Please

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Ja nee, kom ons kyk bietjie! Tomorrow is the day that we will really see who draws the biggest crowd around in this town! The last time I have seen so many black people together as one was at the 1989 Swapo Star rally when Tate Kulu came back for the first time in 30 years! Maar nee, you Egoli watching people will mos be flocking to Maerua Mall to go watch these “celembreties” strut their stuff. I still don’t see the “realities” in soapies, so I fail to understand what is the big fuss about. Still consider it quite on par with WWE, you all know it’s bull*&t but you keep on watching it! Mbuai tara…nee…tomorrow will be the day all of us in Windhoek can get together and just enjoy the day. In fact, I cant believe that this is not a Swapo rally …. because nobody draws a bigger crowd of course. Maar nee wat..there will mos now be certain unscrupulous elements who would want to come and Boomshaka the whole event! You see people…the Australians have the record for the biggest braai ever. If I’m correct they stand at an attendance record of around 40 000 people…well, at N$1-00 for a wors roll, coke, plus The Dogg there is just no way that we will not be able to break it! Please people…and when I say my people I mean MY PEOPLE! Here are a couple of things to please, assemblief not go and do now at this event okay? Don’t tell your kamborroto that you will be there. She might just ask the master of ceremonies to look for you over the PA system while you and your wife are walking around there with the kids! Rather tell her you’ll be at Egoli or something…she will fall for that one! Don’t bring your own “matangara” to the event please! There will be wors en vleis so for once just “come as you are”! Don’t bring any “gabbas” with your food tubs especially those dairy ice cream ones! There will be enough food for the whole day at a meager price of N$1-00 per serving, so please don’t treat the event like some wedding reception in Dolam! Please, please don’t come there drunk on “kaalgat”! Kaalgat makes you “slinger” uncontrollably so security will not let you in. Rather get something like Punya-Punya, I am sure that would keep your behaviour quite in check! Don’t bring the “Holy weed” to the stadium. People who smoke dagga just might think that the wors is a large snake…………..and start laughing at it uncontrollably! Don’t come and start your own braai with a Woermann & Brock trolley please. The organizers will not be held accountable if the staff of Woermann happens to see you there with their trolleys! To all men, no urinating against the walls in the stadium. We just might think the marinade on the meat is bad, because of the smell in the air! Asseblief tog, don’t go now and complain about how you want the meat to be braai-ed okay? This is not your house…have your own braai at home then if you will be complaining about the meat! So people please, let’s make a date for tomorrow…let’s go and “sappot” the effort. You will in fact be getting a certificate for your “effort”. Just don’t go tippex the “World’s biggest braai” logo out and write MBA, Cambridge University, etc in there please. Mbye mbye