Divide and Rule!

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Neville Basson It’s the end of the moooonth! Tonight is the night! We will be having a mo&*rse braai wherever we can! Ellerines can wait until next month, there is simply no way I will be paying them this month. Yes, I know all of you in Katutura / Khomasdal – especially Khomasdal – agree with me on this one. Of hoe? I bumped into one of my old acquaintances on Monday who for the past five years has been residing in Outjo. Now….well as the name suggests..well..uh..I don’t know if this is a correct assessment of the place, but trust me….you don’t want to get caught in Outjo on a Saturday afternoon in a bar while the Springboks are losing a game against the All Blacks. Nee kyk my maat….let me not say anything further except to say that as a black person I feel safer in Gobabis than around Outjo! Maar nou ja, some of my white friends decided to move to the rural areas because BEE is kicking the hell out of them in Windhoek! Joepie: “Ja Neville, I decided ‘genoeg is genoeg.’ I am going to Outjo where my roots are lying, that’s at least one thing you blerrie BEE’s can’t take away from me!” I said: “Aggenee Joepie, why would you start that nonsense now, you moved to Outjo out of your own free will….besides, with a name like Joepie you need to be staying in Outjo, not Windhoek!” Joepie: “Luister Neville, julle mense praat so….you blerrie people are so divided!” I said: “Ekskuus my maat….what did you just say?” Joepie: “Nee wat Neville, I was following the Herero saga now for some time and you people really can’t seems to make up your mind on who should represent you concerning a mountain of money that you are begging from the German government! Nou sÃÆ’Æ‘Æ‘ÃÆ”šÃ‚ª jy vir my, Neville, huh? Who are talking on behalf of the Hereros, is it now the Chief…uh…or…uh is it now…uh…um whatever. ..man, wie dit ook al is. Okay! Why can’t you blerrie people not put your differences aside at least until you are all able to buy Isuzu bakkies! Besides, it is time for you blerrie people to bring back all our stolen bakkies in the Omaheke region! I said: “Huh, what are you talking about now?” Joepie: “Ja nee, play dumb, my maat, we know that the majority of stolen bakkies are stuck somewhere in the Omaheke region. But to get back to the point….please sort your house out if you want to get the money! How do you people think Hosea Kutako and Maharero felt when you people came there all divided to Okahandja last week huh? Jy sien, Neville, ons Boere staan altyd saam…that’s why we don’t need to beg England for any money after what they’ve done to my oupa grootjie during the Anglo-Boer war!” I said: “Huh? Well…uh, I am convinced this division was caused by one of you people again amongst the Herero people! There is just no way one tribe can misunderstand the other over a few Isuzu bakkies like this! So please, Joepie, come out with the truth….who manipulated our people to the extent that they don’t speak to each other on ‘Rooivlag dag’…huh?” Joepie: “Ja nee, ons moet altyd die skuld kry!” “Just get your blerrie house in order, that’s the only way Ousie Merkel in Germany will take you people serious.” I left Joepie feeling quite self-assured that “I know” they caused this division again amongst our people . I mean: Hallo! We need to blame someone here okay?