100 % Unleaded!

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Neville Basson You see … since I am officially divorced from the Brave Warriors I just wanna say we are have a casual relationship now since Wednesday night. They came back to me again pleading that I must take them back but … uh .. nou ja … I guess Wednesday night was not such a big disappointment after all. The boys played very well and proved that there in fact is life after 1998 … if you know what I mean. At least we were inspired by a young Namibian girl who came out smoking on continental level by kicking dust in the eyes of quite a few beauties from our continent. I would just officially like to congratulate Venantia Otto on winning the Nokia Face of Africa competition. And I dare that idiot who called to the chat show in 1998 just after Benvinda won who said that Benavinda was not good looking enough …. they should have chosen a girl maybe from Egypt, Tunisia or something … they look ”kammastag” better than Herero women! I was shocked to hear that .. and don’t be fooled, you could hear the call was made by a black guy! Even though I don’t watch beauty contests I really took a keen interest in it this week after I learnt that a Namibian woman won this title again. Just to mingle and to let women know that I kammastag watch this I brought the issue up with a few Shariffa’s, Jenniffer’s, Sophia’s I was having lunch with. From their names you can guess … I guess that they are Coloured. They did not look very happy anyway that Otto won this pageant. I said:” Etse, en nou, why do you guys not look so happy with Otto’s win, huh? Sophia:” Nee Neville dis sommer nonsense, as a Coloured woman in this country I have the right and the beauty to also take part in this prestigious contest, maar nee… I have no idea why we as Coloured women are overlooked when it comes to anything African! Nee, nee … hierrie goed maak my sommer be*&(&ok !”. I said:” You see Sophia .. maybe if you stop swearing and hanging out at Heaven drinking until 03h00 on Wednesday, the organizers might consider you, hang out in the sun a bit more so that the effect of your alcohol abuse on your skin does not look so evident my bokkie!” Sophia:” Luister Neville, jy koop nie vir my drank nie okay? I’ll drink whatever and how many I want, it still is very unfair that only black women are preferred when it comes to these type of things, I really consider this as reversed apartheid! Besides, these black women actually try very hard to look like us!” I asked:” Hallo? What makes you think that black women would like to look like you huh?” Sophia:” Nee Neville, why would girls from Katutura constantly put human hair on their heads if they don’t want to look like us? Kom nou … se vir my huh? No wonder you Katutura boys like to run after us!” I said:” Well uhh ..you see uhh ..well ..I think you are becoming too personal here okay?” You see Sophie … Shariffa or whatever your meaningless name is … that’s why I like the Nokia Face of Africa … they HAVE NO HUMAN HAIR THERE! Miss Namibia allows that, you end up voting for … well .. I don’t know who she is after all that horsetail hair! Nokia Face of Africa chicks are 100 % pure unleaded fuel! So please all the girls from Khomasdal, let me know if you would like to start a little beauty pageant, make me the patron or something, we will talk to Siemens, Erickson or LG, we could start a ”Siemens face of Khomasdal” as soon as possible! Hurry while human hair lasts! Mbye mbye.

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