Stop Worrying about 2010!

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Neville Basson I am officially divorced … from the Brave Warriors! I promised myself last week, one more stupid loss and I will quit this bloody team! Seychelles? Hallo? I felt like smacking the taste out of Tjikuzu’s mouth, smiling after he missed a penalty. I will be like the rest of Khomasdal in two weeks, supporting Bafana! I have Mbongoro bloodlines, so you Damaras can’t blame me. Fix you strikers, I might consider changing my mind! Since we are talking about football, I would personally like to congratulate the Germans for hosting and excellent World cup for a whole month. The organization, security and the football was just excellent. I don’t believe that the Italians played the best football except for the game against the Germans. The French had quite a good game against them although they lost on penalties. The biggest disappointment of course was Brazil! Can’t believe they performed so poorly. Ghana should have beaten them easily. Now of course, the Germans really raised the bar for South Africa to surpass. The “night of the long knives” is here already, whether we Africans would be able to host such a prestigious event or not. My white friends are having a ball of time with me trying to convince me that there is no way that we would be able to host a proper World Cup! They keep on saying:”Ja nee Neville, hoe te donner ‘julle’ dit gaan maak weet die Vader alleen!” You see, this is normally the time when white people make it “our” problem. When we succeed they would say “we” had a good World Cup! So I came to the conclusion that white people just can’t wait for Comrade Thabo to mess things up so they all can say: “Sien, ek het julle gese!” I keep on telling white people: “Moenie haastig wees nie! In Africa we are operating on an answering machine, I am not sure how many messages Fifa left to find out how far we are but I just want to assure all my white friends out there – we will be ready! I know there’s quite a lot of people who don’t believe that we could in fact do this but we have quite a few mechanisms in place to make sure that everything will be moving as smoothly as a polio vaccination campaign! Accommodation: Please people don’t worry, we are busy with a squatter camp project in Tswane (Pretoria). Once the hotels run full we could put all people up there. With all the low-cost housing here in Namibia that’s done by developers we could also help out with accommodation in Okuryangava! Transport: Don’t worry about transport, okay? I spoke to Thabo just last week! It took London 10 years to complete their underground! Since Swapo and the ANC have been “underground” for over 40 years the infrastructure is there already. A week before the World Cup starts we will put the trains in. So stop worrying! Restaurants: We pledged that Tjikaendu goes to Cape Town for the duration of the World Cup! With the amount of “smileys” (goatheads) that she produces she would be able to supply enough! Please note, all memes from Oshakati, the tender is not for you. Those genetically tough chickens will not be allowed in South Africa. Security: Since those Mbongoros have no idea how to deal with crime in South Africa we will send at least 10 000 members of the shitty polish … aai sorry I mean the City police to them! So people, stop worrying, we will make it to 2010!