Neville Basson What a week in football! Things have been going quite according to plan … except for Ghana being knocked out by “that fat one”, Ronaldo! Now you see … that “jika-jika” that Ronaldo did in front of that goalkeeper was straight from the streets of Sao Paolo! From today onwards there are no jokes. Every team is trying to limit their mistakes to make sure they are going through. I am quite happy with Africa’s performances during this World Cup … the refereeing decisions though against our African teams are quite questionable! Can you imagine … if Ghana broke with the ball like Brazil’s Adriano did, there would have been no way that the linesman would not have raised his flag. It’s mos “kammastag” Brazil … so play just continued! Except for the African countries I have always had my money on Brazil in every World Cup. I know some of you malala-pipe soccer supporters are shouting now that you don’t want Brazil to win another title. Let Brazil just win, okay, and I’ll tell you why we can’t afford these other countries to win the World Cup. England: Okay, since Wayne Rooney (Shrek) is the most handsome guy in the English team I don’t think it would be good for the image of the sport if England win this World Cup. Besides, can you imagine what would happen if they win it in Germany? Winston Churchill is unfortunately not there to fight the Germans in the streets of Berlin! Germany: Adolf Hitler just might come out of hiding finally! The Russians still can’t prove (to me) that he’s dead! To have the Germans ruling Windhoek for a whole week during Wika is hard enough for Sam Nujoma to swallow. What do you think will happen once they win this World Cup? They just might start a little blitzkriege! Spain: Thank God thy can’t win it anymore! Those bloody racists who make monkey chants towards black players deserve to go home! I could not have been happier that a bunch of black players overran the Spanish Armada after the racist statements that coach made towards Thierry Henry! Argentina: No no, if that happens that Wesley Vries from the NBC will harass me for the next four years. “Sien jy Neville, ek het jou gese!” I really can’t cry for Argentina in this case! United States of America: If they have to conquer football then, uh, well, uh, they just might get George Bush to change the name from soccer to game 9/11! Let them stick to their basketball, baseball, etc! Iran: They just might test the next nuclear weapon with American players attached to a warhead! We really can’t have the next World Cup in Iraq. Nobody would like to beat the Iranians or the Iraqis. They just might blow their own … er heads … oh sorry, I mean their tops! Italy: No ways, do you want the next Mafia boss from Palermo to become Fifa President? The way he would make players he doesn’t like to “disappear” is no joke. We can’t have a situation where footballers should live on a diet of spaghetti and pizza! So please people, let it be Brazil! With all the tricks on the pitch, skill and warra-warra … let them win it! Mbye mbye.
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