Confusion fades to Black


Jeremiah Ndjoze “I’m sorry sir, you’ve been blacklisted,” says the lady and hangs up the phone, leaving me astonished. I am not astonished because I’ve been blacklisted, hell I don’t even know the meaning of the damn word. I’m rather astonished by the presence of the “Black” in the “Blacklisted”. They don’t understand that sometimes a brother can’t afford to keep up with the buy-one, get-one-free accounts they force down on us due to the prevailing condition known as financial deficiency that is currently very prevalent in Katutura. So, they blacklist people just like that. I promised the lady at the credit collectors’ office that I would put a tracking device on her husband if she takes me off that so-called black list and guess what, she accused me of a crime called Blackmail. I understand though, because she is not familiar with the process of Black Economic Empowerment in its most real form. I decided to leave everything and to set up my own little operation at a street corner and here it is again! They have a name for it too. It’s called the Black Market. What’s with this blackness, man? It seems like whatever they don’t understand is labelled black. See, that’s why we are Black People. They couldn’t understand why one brother had to have skin pigment and the other not, so they forwarded the pigmented brother to the black side of things. They tried to figure out where people go when they die and when they couldn’t succeed they decided, well let’s put this guy in a black box, let’s all wear black, let’s hire a big black car, fly a black flag and call it death. Now the least said about Black Magic the better but then there is this menacing dude called Satan. It took Christianity up to 2 000 years to demolish that guy but he still is out there getting it on, so they decided enough is enough, let’s associate this menace with darkness and everything black and hopefully we won’t take note of him. Very funny! Lawyers and judges, the lords of confusion, here I do agree though, they can wear black all they want. I never got to understand these folks anyway. I mean, they go out of their way to put up a show in the courtroom, with the judge and the like acting all tough and heated while the lawyers and advocates are supposed to suck up, all in the name of perplexity. It’s Hollywood for sure in those courtrooms and the scripts are well revised. Blackness is everywhere believe you me, confusion always fades to Black. They don’t understand it, they figure it out, they don’t get it, and they add Black to it. I mean check this out, in some quarters Osama Bin Laden is classified as a black man and I assure you that by the end of Mbakondja Katjiuongua’s second trial, he will be charged with a new criminal offence known as Black Mbakondja. Want to know why? Because he showed us just how not-up-to-it Hofni Hamufungu’s boys can be sometimes. As for the Black in Sylvester Black … we’re running out of space!