Anything to declare, madam?

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Neville Basson I know most of you took leave for today, so you are probably at home now. Well enjoy it, okay? Some of us are slaving to make ends meet today! You see, I just decided last week to wait for Meme Leefa to respond properly to the allegations but nothing seems to be coming from her. Now you see … as black Namibian men we already “playa hate” (being jealous) on these Kimbundus with their tight jeans and big biceps who come down here and take our women. It’s not our fault that we have big beer bellies and smell of Punya Punya the whole time – it’s the system created by the white man, okay. I needed to justify our drinking problems in our country, so let’s blame the whites again! These Mulato-looking brothers leave us no choice but to run off to Khomasdal to get ourselves some Mulatos too! Yes women, you started it … we are just finishing it! I had to be harassed once again by one of my white friends who could not wait to lay it onto me after the story broke on what Meme Leefa kammastag did. “Ja nee Neville, julle hou maar net nie op nie, huh? Now you blerrie people have to go around lying about your marital status. “As a member of the Dutch Reformed church, I am very proud that she is at least married … maar f(*k man, sy moer darem n mens waarsku of hoe?” I said: “Look Jaap, uhm, there must be some logical reason why she did not declare that she was married, okay? “There is just no way that something like this can happen … just wait until she releases a press statement.” Why, why, why? You see people, you must please remain vigilant when the enemy tries to undermine us again, let’s come up with some “credible” evidence why she did not declare anything. She might have wanted to become a political refugee in Europe after taking part in the Miss World pageant. With all the current coups in Africa you never know. She might have three kamborrotos in Katutura that she did not want anybody to know about, hence the decision to enter in Miss Namibia! Oh yes, and to get married of course. We know about all the catfights going on behind the scenes with beauty queens … uh … maybe she wanted to feel more mature by getting married. Through that these “silly cow” backstage would leave me alone! It could be that the Swapo central committee decided she must get married – who knows, she might just be lined up for Kapenda’s position! By the time of going to press, we still don’t know wazzup. Let’s hope Uncle Pupkewitz don’t decide to take his “Collola” back. We just need to make sure, okay … at this year’s “Miesies Namibia” to scan them properly! Nice weekend!