Armageddon is Coming?

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Neville Basson I am just asking these two comrades from the “junion” to please kiss and make up! They fight more than a married couple these days. Could you people please call Tate Kulu, as the father of the nation to come and sort this thing out between these two? It is a father’s duty to slap his children silly if they get out of order in any way! Tate, we are waiting for your urgent response. I don’t know if you guys read all your newspapers on a daily basis. One of our daily newspapers ran a story last week on the revelations of some white guy from Outjo or something that the end of the world is very near … when? In two weeks’ time, on 27th April! We need to find out if this is some white conspiracy to get all black people out of Namibia now, back to the Great Lakes region where we actually come from so that whites can colonise this country again! My sixth sense tells me that this is definitely the case! This guy, Shawn Liebenberg claims that our beautiful country will be destroyed by a massive earthquake in the inland and Swakopmund will be completely destroyed by water! So all of you people out there who planned on vision 2030 “los maar alles”, this is a time for desperate measures. When the big waters come I know there is only one black tribe in this country that would survive – the Kavangos and perhaps those in the Caprivi! They are the only black people in the country who own a beach in Rundu! That makes them the only black people in this country that can swim, in fact! The rest of us will be drowning! You see, on the one hand we can write this white guy off as some disgruntled former SWATF member, or he could be Noah, re-incarnated! All I know is I will be doing some crazy things for the next two weeks in case something really happens. I would advise you to draw up a few things yourself to do as from today to make sure you enjoy the next two weeks fully. I made a possible list of a few things that I would like to do, who knows, I might even enjoy it! I will call up all potential kamborrotos (mistresses) and inform them about the situation. I don’t think if they know that the end of the world is next week they would be saying no to anything I am ask. Hopefully I would be so tired by week two that I would not even wanna move if the water hits! Ha! Ha! Ha! Go to Bank Windhoek and increase my overdraft with at least N$100 000. Spend the money as fast as I can, but won’t tell my bank manager about what’s coming since I don’t think he read the article! I could never afford a Mercedes Benz, so I’ll go to M&Z for the ultimate car! Promise the salesman that I will pay off the car completely in less than two weeks … ha! ha! ha! ha! There goes his commission! Take my mother and grandmother on an overseas trip next week on credit with Trip travel. This guy predicts the quake would hit in the middle of town first, so well, uhm Trip Travel is in the middle of town. After the quake no data of my debt would be left on their computer system. Launch my won Corruption Conference against the Anti-Corruption Commission. At this conference we will teach people how to defraud the government successfully. By the end of this course Comrades Pohamba and Noa can be as angry as they wanna be, I’ll be so far away probably at the Epupa falls, where this guy claims the quake won’t hit. On the 26th of April I will join the Universal church and give my life to God, providing they don’t charge an admission fee at the door. So, I’m ready, are you? Mbye mbye.