April Should Just Pass

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John Ekongo April has never been a month for anything serious, so we were taught at school. When I was still a petite boy at school teachers seemed to be more relaxed during April, a behaviour I later learned was usually associated with them getting their pay raises in April. Just when I thought it was enough, somebody then coined April Fools Day, so everything said or done during April seems only to have been done and understood by fools. Ever since then, I was placed between a rock and cushion supple and April, well, was just April for me. But now I have a problem bigger than April, when is April serious or is there any chance that it will be? In the midst of all “Aprilmania”, suddenly Namibia discovered its own living Nostradamus right here, and let’s not forget he was discovered in April. So the world is coming to an end he said, and Tsunamis, Earthquakes, Floods and plain old Armageddon is coming our way, come April 27. Now having been raised in Christianity, I took this piece of news to my granny and all she could say was that she has lived through the flood of Walvis Bay, Hitler’s war, “Die Boere’ se apartheid”, klein pensioen, the drought of 92, and she would not mind another Armageddon. So even my grandmother is not serious during this month. Now I hear our doomsday prophet is very serious and seemingly is on a mission alone to tell the world and warning most of his beloved fellow countrymen. Well I said just to be on the safe side I should check with the weather bureau and their early warning system and it is registered at zero apart from a few rains and scattered thundershowers over the Namib and the Hochland Valley, that is the closest we get to our own Tsunami. So one worry set aside, because I was even starting to think that the power failures of Sunday and Monday were because of the Armageddon prophesied. In a twist of events our Nostradamus headed towards the mountains of the great Kunene, and is now nowhere to be found. Now I thought where can we find him just in case we need to consult on what to do, but seemingly nobody has seen him or heard of his whereabouts. So a colleague suggested he is probably consulting higher powers somewhere in the Epupa Mountains. Now all I need to know is that is it ok if I go withdraw all my money from the bank just in case I will survive and maybe book a room on the International Space Station, or better still so that I go get a copy of US Marshall Army Survival Skills from the US Embassy. As far as I know Katutura and Khomasdal share one public swimming pool, and I am not so sure if that is enough. Oshakati has no public swimming pool and the majority are still there and trust me not all of them read Afrikaans, so they are not well prepared for the Tsunami. So I appeal, – maybe the Office of the Prime Minister, the Emergency Management Unit, can step in, considering that they have attended all those early warning and preparedness conferences. If not, let’s get cracking on those swimming pools and build a dozen of those huge Olympic-sized ones. Better still, let’s hope Nampol finds our Nostradamus, because it is a well-known fact that not all of my people can swim, apart from fishing. I, well, I just think that April should pass and stop being so grappejas. Eewa!