Neville Basson Ja, some of you probably have put in leave for Monday! I hope you enjoy your Independence Day wherever you gonna spend it, okay? I guess it’s pointless to ask you people to attend the festivities because you will obviously come up with some stupid excuse that you thought it’s only for Swapo members. Nee! nee! Nee! It’s for all Namibians even though you feel that Kosie Pretorius should be the President of the “blerrie” country. Ja nee, this week was once again one of those weeks that I just hated being black. The stigma sometimes attached to me for stuff that I am not responsible for is really irritating the living daylights out of me. Koos van Zyl ambushed me once again this week after the alleged scandal at “Junam of Namibia”! (Unam for you people who don’t know where Nama lokasie is). Koos: “Nee Neville, kyk, nou maak julle erg, who are those ‘donners’ who tried to steal computers at that Bantu Educational Institute called Unam, huh?” I said: “Luister Koos, uhm, I don’t know what you are talking about okay … what do you mean?” Koos: “Kyk nou! Then you blerrie people always act like you don’t know what we talk about. A security guard caught two top officials from Unam stealing 12 computers…huh? Why? What did they want to do with them…you tell me Neville, you tell me!” I said: “Point of correction Koos. Allegedly, okay? Allegedly!” Koos: “Allegedly se voet man! You blerrie people must stop using this country for toilet paper! We built this country with honour and trust … maar nee … toe kom julle mos!” I said: “Kyk Koos, there must be some logical explanation for this okay?” Well uhm, I just thought that on behalf of all black people, if you are confronted by this issue now once again, tell these colonialists that there are valid reasons why those computers were allegedly removed … uhm, well, uhm, at 12 o’clock at night from ‘Junam’ of Namibia’s offices. Maybe Bill Gates opened a new Microsoft office in Katutura and that was really the only time they could upgrade “Windows 95”! You all know that Bill is a shrewd businessman who can’t wait. Put the blame on Microsoft! It could be that “Junam” wants to start an internet cafÃƒÆ’Ã†’Ãƒâ€ ‘ÃƒÆ’Ã¢â‚¬Â ‘ÃƒÆ’Ã†”Ã…Â¡ÃƒÆ’Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â© in town for students who can’t afford to take a taxi to Pionierspark. So, uhm, it’s a case of “Bringing EDUCATION to the people”! Makes sense to me, gulp. It could be that Al Qaeda infiltrated Unam since they all have computers these days. The only conclusion that I can offer is that the US government ordered the CIA to remove these computers that time of the night to inspect them – maybe they could finally locate Osama and Saddam’s WMD! Twelve computers … there are 12 months in a year…uhh…umm…you see…12 uuh…aaaaaaih think for yourself! Why must I carry this burden anyway! There are numerous reasons that we can come up with okay – as long as you come up with one! Don’t get caught with your pants down, like in the case of Avid last year. Be pro-active before the enemy asks questions… uh…good luck. Mbye mbye!
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