Our Free Air Waves

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Neville Basson Ja, ja, why are you not sending me any of those nasty, provocative smss that you normally send me when Arsenal loses a game huh? I did not get a single sms on Tuesday night after Arsenal became the first english team ever to beat Real Madrid on home soil! Ja, maybe you can start sending me those smss again as from this weekend … gulp. There is nothing that I like more when I am stressed out than to get into my car and just drive, drive, and drive on until I run out of the N$20 fuel I put in my car a week ago! Radio has always been the best way to keep abreast of all the day’s news and current affairs. There are certain radio stations that you will not catch people listening to, but liberal as I am, I make a point of listening to all radio stations. I know there are a lot of you people out there who listen to a specific radio station, because of, for example, cultural reasons or social status, bla, bla, bla, nonsense! That is the way Sam Nujoma and Nelson Mandela conquered the Boers, keep abreast with the news, music documentaries – alles deurmekaar to make sure you know each and every opinion of people throughout this country, okay? But! There are of course certain radio stations that need to be called to order immediately, sowaar! How these radio stations stay on air all these years is just criminal. Maar nou ja, you people keep on talking of free speech and all so I guess there is mos now nothing that we can do about that. Let’s look at some of our radio stations and you can decide for yourself how much of a contribution your station makes to this country. Radio Wave: This is actually just Kiepies via satellite! The topics and music are normally things that a brother from Katutura like me cannot relate to. Since they insist on not playing rap on their station, it still puzzles me why they are playing a song of Eminem continuously but refuse to play Snoop Dogg. We’ll discuss that at the next Swapo congress! Radio 99: This was white people’s alternative about 10 years ago when we started taking over stations they used to listen to. The music on 99 has changed dramatically over the past five years – white people decided to switch over to Radio Wave to feel a bit more “at home”. Wag net bietjie – in three years’ time we will have Radio Wave like we conquered 99! Radio Energy: Okay, the name says it all! You don’t need to have an IQ of 10 to be entertained here! I can’t listen to this station before 12 in the afternoon – might get a headache! The constant “can I send a message please” programmes are really making me sick! The deejays are just too happy to be on air that they keep on interrupting songs constantly just to, kamma, talk…stop it! Kosmos Digital: This is for the older white generation. Please, let’s just leave them alone, okay? Let them have their peace and quiet for the rest of their lives, what is left of it, okay? Okay, let me admit, uhm, sometimes I tune in – never mind. Kanaal 7: Okay, if I say anything bad about this station my mother will take me out of her testament since she is “bekeer”! This radio station is protected by the Holy Spirit, let’s just leave it at that, okay? Call me if you want my opinion! National Radio: Aaaaahh! Our radio station! It’s got everything in it! Music, documentaries, politics, live sport, jazz slots for me on Sundays, everything! It would just help if NBC’s management could please listen to the pathetic reading and pronunciation ability of some of our male presenters on NBC. Why some of them insist on reading the news live on air, I don’t know. It would also help if NBC can get rid of that old colonial equipment! You can hear the buttons being pressed from home! Through that we won’t be able to hear the off-air swearing of some presenters. There you have it, you choose! Mbye mbye.