Neville Basson I just can’t believe what a bad week I have experienced. So many things just went wrong, wrong, wrong! Things were just so bad that I wanted to go hang myself with a bubblegum this week! My football teams are performing dismally (bloody Arsenal), southern hemisphere teams are struggling in the African Nations Cup, the Williams sisters are out of the Australian Open, and to top it all, I have no money! Whatever happened to Bank Windhoek’s slogan “Together we do better”? Well, as things stand now, I don’t think there’s anything they want to do for me because, uhm, well uhh, I just simply refuse to take their calls on my cell phone. MTC, thank you very much for “caller identity”! I know a lot of you people are struggling to get through this month because of “bankrotskap”. Trust me, you are not alone – we are all “saffarieng”. Since there is only one more week to go, I need to find some ways and means to get myself through this week. I have formulated a few things to do in order to make sure that I have a full stomach every day. Ja please, don’t laugh because I know most of you people out there are doing more or less the same thing. You just won’t admit it. You see, times like this call for desperate measures and we must “zula” by any means necessary within legal boundaries to make sure we make it this last week. Let’s look at a few things: Make sure that for this last week, you only visit your friends who work for a banking institution or who could be a teacher at some public school in Khomasdal! These people get paid between the 15th and the 20th of every month. They should have money. Hang around them this whole week; they’ll get so irritated by your constant visits that they’ll give you N$500. Refuse all their phone calls from next week (as usual). Go to Spur with your whole family. Have a few spare ribs and chips. After dinner you and your wife can shout at each other about who actually left the wallet at home! Your continuous fighting would eventually lead to the manager saying: “just go, please.” If that trick fails, well uhm, wash the dishes in their kitchen. Remember, you at least have a full stomach. Hang around your white colleagues during lunch hours. Trust me, they have money all the time. White people are terrified lately about any news from the unions. Act like you kammastag know what really happened on April 01, 1989. They will keep on buying you lunch until next week if you keep your union story up long enough on who you think is really lying! Visit your in-laws. Make up a story like, you are unhappy with their daughter or something. By 20h00 they will have to let all of you eat at their house. After dinner, kiss and make up with your wife and go home – with a full stomach! These are just a few tips on how to get you through ONE MORE WEEK of “bankrotskap”. Good luck for the week, if you happen to use any of the above tactics. I will not be held accountable if it does not work. Mbye mbye.
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