The Tree of Life

0
19

Neville Basson Okay, this has got nothing to do with you guys but all I just wanna say is: ”Rest in peace, Richard Pryor!” There has been nobody else who influenced my comedy career as much as Richard Pryor did. Thanks for what you have given me; I will carry that with me my whole life. I could not believe this thing that I read in one of our local dailies last week about a poor old comrade Christmas tree. There was kammastag a Christmas tree that stood at some mall in Swakopmund that did not have the usual ”white” look to it. This sparked quite a controversy around Swakopmund because it wasÃÆ’Æ‘ÀÃ…ÃÆ”šÃ‚ºconsidered a racist decision once again that this poor old Comrade tree had to be removed to make way for a more ”European” looking tree. I just wonder now what must all the comrades in Mondesa be thinking of this whole scenario. I have no idea whatsoever what was on this African looking Christmas tree that ”Mr Sauerkraut” had to go and remove this poor old tree! Sometimes I can be very patriotic about my culture and would defend anything that promotes and establishes my Africanism. Well, uhh, but then once again, before I now go and beat up a few Germans at a shopping mall in Swakop-mund, let’s just try and analyse what these comrades put on this tree now for these “Eissbein” eating Germans to be so angry about it. Bags of Caushushu: If you don’t know what Caushushu is, ask the comrade sitting next to you! It is those small little fishes people eat as a delicacy in the townships. Comrades please, let’s keep the fish at home, okay? These Germans don’t understand that we like our fish on Christmas trees! Bottles of Punya-Punya: I just hope that nobody went on to hang some Tassenberg bottles on this Christmas tree. As strong as our African trees are, please don’t hang them on the tree okay? It’s bad enough if our breath smells of it on Christmas day. We will remove the bottles if you Germans promise not to hang any Jagermeister bottles on your Christmas tree! Kalabash: I heard that there were kalabashes hanging from this tree! Stop doing this, okay? Herero people might just think that there is omaere in it! We will start raiding that tree for milk like it’s nobody’s business! Swapo flags: Comrades please, the birth of Jesus has nothing to do with August 26, 1966! Please remove all Swapo flags from the Christmas tree! I don’t think Jesus wants to have anything to do with what happened or did not happen on 01 April! All Star Tekkies: I know that every black 16-year-old out there would like to have these sneakers for Christmas, but please don’t hang them on the tree…the tree might just put on these tekkies and start running away! Gazza’s New CD: Now you see, you black people just go too far! You should have voted for the brother instead of buying his cds! Rather get more Tango recharge vouchers for Christmas! How would you people feel if the Germans start hanging Wika cds on that Christmas tree, huh? Shoprite plastic bags: You know, if we can’t afford crinkle paper for decorating our tree, let’s rather not go with these bags – they just might think the tree itself was cheap. Asseblief tog mense, if we stick with the same tree for next year let’s go to the Town Council so we can get ourselves a better place to put our tree! Dankie! Mbye mbye.