Many of us do not really know the difference between self-defence and fighting. Sometimes one might be fighting and later (especially in the court of law) claim that he/she was defending him/herself.

Self-defence is not about fighting and is one of the most misunderstood concepts among our community members. It is further complicated by the common belief that you can be arrested for "attempted self-defence"ÂÂ. Self-defence isn't fighting. But if it isn't then what is it?

Here is a short version of what self-defence means: Imagine you are sitting in a restaurant waiting to be served and a total stranger walks up to you and says "Hey moegoe, I'm going to donner you and swing a punch at you." What you then do to stop that attack, that's self-defence. Here's another example: You're walking to your car and three guys jump out of the shadows and attack you.

Now looking at these three scenarios, what you should seriously consider is that:

(a) in both cases the attack was unwarranted and unprovoked, (b) there is a serious element of surprise, confusion (that is to say, there was no mental preparation to get ready to fight) and downright fear that will very likely inhibit you from performing well,ÃÆ''šÃ‚ (c) there is no escalation or provocation on your part to warrant such violent responses and (d) while it is coming out of the blue to you, the attacker(s) obviously is/are prepared to attack. But the most important point to consider is (e) that these situations are not about "winning" they are about surviving.

At this moment, your best chance for success is to get your way clear of the attack and escape. That means you only engage an attacker long enough to get out of there and only using enough force as is warranted. Now many will begin to proceed with "what ifs" and excuses as to why they cannot escape or how under the stress of being attacked they won't be able to control the degree of force they use or how they have go full force on the attacker because anything less "might not work"ÂÂ.ÃÆ''šÃ‚ 

Let me say again and very directly, the goal of self-defence is not to win; winning is the realm of fighting and is concerned with ego, pride, gain, coercion and the countless other motivations for fighting. The goal of self-defence is not to be physically injured by an unprovoked or unwarranted attack by using a reasonable amount of force. If you are engaged in physical conflict for any other reason or using excessive force, it is not self-defence. It is something else. That is what you will be judged by. And yet, it is exactly those motivations mentioned above that many people have who believe they are "defending themselves"ÂÂ.

Under our legal standards it is not self-defence if: You were an active participant in the creation, escalation and continuation of the conflict. If you engage in violence for any reason other than immediate physical preservation then both the law and society considers you to be fighting. Your pre-conflict behaviour is going to be carefully scrutinised to determine if it was, as you claim self-defence, or in fact, a fight. Your conduct during and after is going also to be carefully scrutinised to determine if it was an assault, assault with a deadly weapon, attempted murder, manslaughter or even murder.

And we can tell you right now a very, very important point: self-defence is legal, fighting and all those other behaviours are illegal.

On the other hand if you are fighting, you are part of the problem. Fighting implies that you are not only part of the conflict, but that you assisted in its creation and escalation. This is what we meant when we said your pre-conflict behaviour will be carefully reviewed. If you, in any way, were (a) instrumental in the creation of the problem that lead to the physical violence, (for example, if you were threatening him/her, insulting him/her or arguing with him/her), (b) continued to attack after s/he was obviously losing and/or had broken off his/her offensive actions or (c) instead of attempting to escape you stayed there and fought to "win"ÂÂ, you are fighting and not defending yourself.

A "fight" is a knock down, drag out, tooth and nail conflict with someone who is just as tough if not tougher than yourself. And that somebody is as dedicated to getting a piece out of you, as you are dedicated to getting him/her. And that means the only thing keeping from doing unto you before you do unto him/her is you and your fighting skills. Someone who is not more interested in saving face than avoiding a fight will do certain things: Like leave. Someone who is seeking to prove something to a thug could walk away from the conflict, but s/he chooses to remain in the immediate area. Now the motivation for not really leaving is varied and beyond the scope of this article. However, no matter what your motivations, neither the police nor the courts look at choosing to be there, as a true indication that you were serious about not wanting to be involved in a conflict. It means you put other priorities ahead of doing something that would have prevented violence.

You may have a long litany of reasons as to why you didn't leave and/or "had" to stay and engage in further conflict. But they are, more often than not, emotional and prideful, not reasonable. Our legal system is predicated on "what a reasonable person" would do under the same circumstances and that is how it will be looked upon. A "reasonable" person would have left a confrontational public area rather than fight.

Perhaps the easiest way to realise when you are fighting is when you are trying to win or that you are either trying to prove something to yourself or to someone else.
Be safe!

I have received numerous enquiries about children's kung fu classes contact Eric at 0813626200.

Sifu Lawrence Hochobeb is the Founder and Chief Instructor of Namibia Wing Chun Kung Fu Academy. He can be contacted at: 0812782121.